Eddie Izzard: âBecoming an MP is still my goalâ
Boarding school was pretty grim: dormitories, horrible food, structure. Mum disappeared and then suddenly I didnât see Dad for huge chunks of the year either. I donât like regret, itâs a useless emotion, but I wish Mum â a nurse who didnât smoke â hadnât died of cancer. Away from home, I did a lot of crying and feeling sorry for myself.
I broke into Pinewood Studios at 15, after discovering films existed. I kept seeing the same place listed in the credits, and searched for it on a map. From Bexhill-on-Sea I travelled by train, tube and bus, only to be told to fuck off by security. I found an entrance and brazenly marched in. This didnât jump start my career as planned, but it was magical.
The first joke I told on stage, in the late 80s at a south London cabaret, got a laugh. âSt Paulâs Letters to the Corinthians,â I said. âChapter 2, Verse 1.17⦠Dear Corinthians.â After that, not a single thing I said got them chuckling. Still, standup seemed a way out from sketch comedy and street performing and I worked hard before my next set, 18 months later, at a 20-seater vegetarian restaurant. That one wasnât great either.
I came out as trans at 23, but Iâd known since I was five. To this day, trying to steal makeup from Boots in Bexhill as a teen is a badge of honour. Iâm gender fluid, so I spend my life in both boy mode and girl mode: I simply donât neatly fit into either. I still pop into that Boots and loudly announce Iâll be purchasing a lipstick. I ask the assistants if they knew that as a teenager Iâd nicked one. âYes Eddie,â they say, âyou told us last time.â
There were trans people back when we lived in caves, just like there were gay and straight, progressives and bigots â the trans trajectory has been a millennia-long struggle. Things really improved in recent years. Although weâre going through some âdiscussionsâ now, Iâll refrain from getting too acrimonious. Itâs better we go through this and arrive at a better place, rather than continue to stay hidden. Everyone just needs to calm down, relax, live and let live.
Becoming an MP is still my goal. Iâll run in the next general election, unless a byelection comes along, in which case Iâm ready to go with 24 hoursâ notice. I do radical things with a moderate message and most moderates donât go into politics because itâs bruising and an evil industry. But someone has to stop the egotistical maniacs and liars.
Wild animals are match-fit for life. Thatâs what our bodies are designed for. Weâre not built to watch TV and eat cake, but to stay at our prime. Itâs one of the reasons I love running. But running is an adventure, too, and shapes how I look at life: the hard parts are easier to get through when you remember thereâll be something great around the corner.
If there is a god, it would have stepped in when 60 million people were dying in the most awful ways during the Second World War. It didnât. So either God doesnât exist or it is a horrible entity. Itâs more polite, I think, to say thereâs nothing there.
I learned to fly 15 years ago, after a lifetime grappling with a crippling fear of flying. It was mostly all the unexplainable noises that filled me with in-flight fear. When I could, I decided to take lessons, which have calmed me down. Now I know exactly what each of those sounds is.
Six Minutes to Midnight is on digital download and DVD from Lionsgate UK
This article was amended on 31 July 2021. The original incorrectly used the possessive determiner âhisâ. Izzard uses the pronouns âsheâ and âherâ.